After reading Psalm 137 a few thoughts were laid on my heart. The psalmist speaks of an emptiness and a void due to separation, isolation, and being captive to those who carried them away.
They were asked by the foreigners to sing one of their songs of home. I love their reply. “How can we when we are in a foreign land?” This sparked within me the fact that our sin should develop or cause a sense of separation from God. A small nagging fear that creates the necessity to repent and seek God in prayer asking for forgiveness and restoration. Sinning should seem foreign to us instead of familiar. It should be distasteful and burdensome. We should not feel at home. Then the captive go on to describe how this separation is working in their hearts…how it has brought to the forefront of their minds the love they have for the home they lost. With urgency and determination they vow to never forget their homes. If they did forget, the music would no longer be available to them to play or sing. We should always keep at the forefront of our hearts and minds that we have a home from which we never want to be in jeopardy of losing. A home we can reach, only through and because of, The One Who counts us as righteous, cleansed, and redeemed. We would do well to apply the fear of physical atrocities and spiritual devastations should we ever forget the home we possess. We need to visualize a clear picture of this promised home we want to dwell in.
I have no desire to live in a foreign land with foreign people and a foreign god.
For some reason, the purpose of “doors” has taken on a broader meaning and spectrum lately. We all know doors are important. Our homes, cars, offices, and even our tents or campers have doors. Some have labels like Enter, Exit, Women, Men, and Private. We use them everyday to enter familiar and unfamiliar places. We also use them to keep people out, hide behind, ensure safety, and close chapters of our lives.
For those who have battled their way past the sins that separated them from Christ, find immense relief when closing a door that holds agonizing pain, strife, and consequences that are exhausting to live with. This one staggering triumph is exhilarating, humbling, and a freedom that is unexplainable. That’s what Jesus does for those who are willing and brave enough to shut a few doors!!!! His forgiveness is a path that leads you away from shut doors. His mercy and grace give light to a darkened doorway. His blood washes ALL the shame, guilt, and iniquities that live behind the shut doors.
It can be a long hard fight to close doors that are harmful, dangerous, and full of pain. These doors are harmful to the new life they have chosen with Christ Jesus, dangerous to their faith building, and reminders of the pain that Satan is and will continue to use to win them back. People, who have closed doors, did it for a reason. The behaviors, memories, and temptations behind the closed doors pose a threat to their new life in Jesus.
Here is my plea. You may be aware of the past behind those doors, but that doesn’t give you the right or the authority to unlock what Jesus has locked up. His blood covered all their sins the same way it covered and still covers yours today. Jesus can and will transform the unlikeliest of all people, because He has the POWER and AUTHORITY to do so. Peter was given the keys to the kingdom to lock up the old and unlock the new, no other. Matthew 16:19. We too, need to lock up the old man and to put on the new every day.
Let’s all be door openers!!Luke 12:36, Gods Word says, “Be like men who are waiting for their master when he returns from the wedding feast, so that they may immediately open the door to him when he comes and knocks.” Give others doors to knock on. Announce doors of opportunity and salvation, and invite others in!! John 10:1-3 Be the doorkeeper who is able to open the door with love for the sheep. Colossians 4:3 Be intentional for an open door to share the amazing news of Jesus Christ and His righteousness. Acts 14:27 Be ready to report how God opened a door of faith to an unbeliever. A safe and welcoming open door is for some, a dream come true.
Psalm 18:28 “For YOU light my lamp: The LORD my GOD illumines my darkness.”
When my oldest daughter was about 6 years old, she wanted to play soccer. When we arrived to her first game, the soccer fields they were soaked and had a prominent amount of mud all over them. The referee determined the field was playable. While waiting for the decision, the team was playing in the wonderful mud. Out came the wet wipes and the moms started clean up duty with all the team players including my precious daughter who had entirely covered her hands in mud.
After the game begins, it couldn’t have been 7 to 10 minutes and my daughter was knocked down into the mud!! She stood up, looked at her mud covered hands, let out a wail, which turned into sobbing, ran off the field to the sideline in the middle of the play and was mortified because of the mud on her hands. I was bewildered. Now, mud is a bad thing. I cleaned her up and tried to send her back out, but she was not in favor of returning. Being the mom I was, I wouldn’t let her quit. She played the rest of the game, periodically looking over at me with the “unfair face” and avoided all the muddy areas on the field.
After speaking to a dear friend of mine recently, I was reminded that life can and will get muddy. I’ve had some recent mud encounters. I found myself wordless before God. I asked Him to listen to my heart, because I was blinded by the mud. I struggled to know if He could see me through the mud. Did He still recognize me? He did. My Father picked me up, washed me off ever so gently, allowed me to run to the sideline and momentarily sit on the bench, and then lovingly reminded me of whom I am to Him and gently put me back in the game. This led me back to Isaiah 43.
God’s people struggled with mud repeatedly. In chapter 42 Isaiah reminds Israel they are in the mud. They are living in it, breathing it, eating it, and blinded by it. Then God washes them off and brings them back to His side in chapter 43. Verse 1 “But now, thus says Jehovah Who created you, O Jacob, and who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, because I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine!!”
If that is not enough, read the rest of the chapter, it is just as invigorating and inspiring. Jehovah won’t let us drown in the mud. He won’t let the flames or fire of the devil burn or even scorch us. We are precious in His eyes and He loves us. He will bring us back from any direction we have been dragged to. He is our only Savior; there is no other besides the Almighty God. He wipes away our mud for His own sake and chooses not to remember the dirty mess He cleaned up. What an AWESOME God!!!
Like my daughter, most people have experienced being muddy and wear the “not fair face”. No matter the reason for the mud experience, the remedy was and is the same. It gets washed off. God is our Precious Father Who is willing and waiting to clean off all our mud, redeeming us for His own. You can’t get cleaner than that.
In Matthew, chapter 11, in verses 28-30 Jesus is speaking and He says, “Come to Me all who toil and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Yokes are designed to bring two together to act as one. When a farmer places a yoke on his oxen in order to prepare his field for planting, he brings two individual beasts together to act as one mind. The oxen do not naturally, or by nature, come to the master and asked to be yoked. They are led to the yoke.
After researching the concept of the early yoke and oxen process, it was very interesting to note the farmer usually had at least one seasoned ox who would be the trainer for the younger ox. The yokes were uniquely designed and created for the ox that was to be yoked. No two oxen ever wore the same yoke. The yoke had to be designed with a particular ox in mind or the coupling would never work and the yoke would cause huge sores on the ox wearing them. When the young ox won’t allow themselves to be yoked, these same horrendous sores develop on the area where the yoke should fit. The sores can grow to the size of a dinner plate. The young ox would be half in and half out of the yoke, but never completely under allowing the seasoned ox to guide them. If the young ox goes on long enough without allowing the yoke to fit, then the ox is of no use to the farmer and sent off for slaughter.
We too are called to come along side of Jesus and be yoked with Him. His yoke is perfect for us. We learn from Him when we humble ourselves to the yoke He willingly allows us to wear with Him. This yoke of His is our strength and guidance. Jesus’ yoke teaches you to stay by His side. His yoke teaches you to mimic His steps. Jesus’ yoke allows you to learn all about Him and be transformed into His image. His rest does not come outside the yoke. Only within His yoke can you find the rest He promises.
Even more interesting are the Greek words Jesus chose in Matthew to describe His yoke. In the Greek, yoke is translated, the beam of the balance. We are only balanced when we are completely yoked to Jesus, not half in or half out, but completely humble to His yoke. The toil and burden Jesus speaks of is a feeling of fatigue. The heavy laden Jesus stated is a spiritual anxiety. When Jesus says He is meek it is a humbling of oneself to the yoke. Jesus humbles Himself to the yoke He yearns to share with you. The lowly is a humiliation in the heart. It takes a measure of humility to allow yourself to be vulnerable and obedient in the yoke. When Jesus uses the word rest, in this passage, it is an intermission. We all need to pause in between the burdens we are called to bear while in the flesh. Jesus says this will happen in our souls. In the Greek, this use of soul is our breath or our spirit. Jesus allows us to catch our breath, refresh and go forward. Finally, Jesus states His beam of balance is useful to us and easy for Him. The yoke is not for Jesus, but for us.
We all have experienced the sores on our back from resisting the yoke designed by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Our yokes are uniquely designed for each one of us, so we can mimic Jesus, so we can walk His way, follow His guidance, and find HIs rest, strength, and joy as we serve Him His way. Jesus said, “Take MY yoke…” We need to remember who the yoke belongs to and submit all that we are, to His yoke, so we can know the rest He promises.
Watching the birth of a new child before your very eyes cannot be described in a few words. A new birth brings great joy, relief, excitement, tears, peace, comfort, purity, wonder, awe, and so many more emotions that are unique to the individual experiencing the event. Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends can all share in the exhilaration of the new birth. Thoughts of feeding, nurturing, guiding, counseling, encouraging, supporting, reminding, and even disciplining can run wildly through our thoughts in those moments of the birth.
This is the most important birth any of us can witness when one is born into Christ. Joy infiltrates us when someone we love makes the decision to name Jesus as their Lord and Master. Relief causes our shoulders to drop and our faith increase at the birth of a new child in God. Excitement ensues for their earthly and eternal futures, which brings comfort and peace to our souls. We see purity in the moment when they rise up out of the waters of baptism and are called holy in Christ’s eyes. We share wonder in the salvation plan where Jesus’ blood cleanses all of the sins of this new child. We are in awe of the sight of the new birth unfolding before our eyes, knowing Jesus provided the way to this moment.
Jesus taught this second birth was far more valuable and essential than the first. In John 3:3-8 Jesus answered and said to him (Nicodemus), “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.”
Nicodemus asks a very logical question. How can one be born again? Jesus states we are to be born of water and Spirit. We know Jesus is speaking of baptism; the immersion into water for the forgiveness of sins. Paul and Peter speak of this repeatedly throughout the New Testament. Acts 2:38, 4:12, 16:31ff, Mark 16:16, Colossians 1:13-14, 2:13. Paul also confirms baptism as a rebirth in Titus 2:11 through 3:5-7. In verses 3-5, Paul states “For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life”. The word “regeneration,” in the original language of Greek, means “spiritual rebirth”.
Every soul of the age of accountability on this earth must come to Jesus, be baptized into His possession, receive forgiveness of sins, and be given the gift of the Holy Spirit. You are not saved in the eyes of God, or His Son, until you have obeyed the words of Jesus. Jesus said UNLESS one is born of the water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
When we witness this incredible birth, should not our hearts be just as awed, in wonder, excited, comforted, shed tears of joy, announce the birth, make plans for helping them grow, teach them what Jesus wants them to understand, provide the spiritual milk they need until they are ready for meat, look on them with the same purity as a newborn child, and love them with the love of the Father? YES!! These babes in Christ need just as much nurturing and guidance as any earthly newborn child. MORE!!. Some are trying to unlearn the familiar lives they’ve led and learn to live a new life in Christ. Newborn babies learn as they grow and have NOTHING to undo, but new born children of God sometimes have to overcome unpleasant realities while they are learning the new life they have chosen. No one is born grown or mature. God recognizes that their sins have been washed away. We as their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends do not have the right or authority to hold their past sins against them. God sent His Son to the cross as the ultimate sacrifice for you and for them. There are no second class children in Christ.
I know many of you believed I was talking about the earthly birth of a child at the beginning of my thoughts to you, but I wasn’t. I want us to get just as thrilled and excited when a soul from this broken world recognizes they need Jesus and are willing to give up themselves to be transformed by Christ and through Christ into His image. When they bow their knee to Him and accept the fact they need His love, His mercy, His grace, and His forgiveness, we need to recognize it all the more. We never stop needing Jesus. These newborns need to know this too.
There have been numerous head strong women throughout my life. Many of them are the richest examples of advocating for Christ and salvation through Him. Many have stood in harms way, when no else would, to protect the innocent. Many have battled forces outside their comfort zone. Many have withstood the test of perseverance victoriously. Righteous head strong women have accomplished great feats because they never lost their focus for the truth and humbly stepped aside for the greater good.
Exodus chapter 2 begins the first mention of a head strong young woman who showed strength and bravery while serving Pharaoh’s daughter. Being a Hebrew slave did not afford much in the way of speaking out or offering your opinion in fear of punishment or death and yet there she was standing back to see what would be done with Moses when he was drawn out of the waters of the Nile River. When he was discovered, Miriam acted quickly and asked to call a wet nurse for her brother from the Hebrew women. Pharaoh’s daughter agreed and unknowingly told the woman who bore him to take the child and nurse him and she will pay her wages.
By the time we get to the 15th chapter of Exodus Miriam has witnessed with her own eyes powerful events in saving the Hebrew nation. She watched salvation come from a basket, into the enemy’s hands, and back to the God of her family. This sets her life up for greatness. Miriam is recorded as being a prophetess and a leader of the women. She led them out into the wilderness with timbrels in their hands and leading them in a song of deliverance to the Lord. God recognized Miriam’s leadership as recorded in Micah 6:4.
In the book of Numbers, chapter 12, we see the same head strong Miriam, but this time being head strong did not serve her well. Miriam allows her gift to supersede her authority and challenges Moses’ ascendancy, his status as God’s chosen spokesperson, and she does this PUBLICLY. Miriam forgets her position. Scripture conveys Miriam was the instigator of the open rebellion, because her name stands before Aaron’s, which denotes a shift of responsibility. (vs 10) Miriam overestimated herself.
God made Miriam a leper. Miriam’s sin and her punishment infiltrated her whole body to the point of decay. The depth of her leprosy was equivalent to her sin. Verse 10 states, “But when the cloud had withdrawn from over the tent, behold, Miriam, leprous as snow.”. Her sin also caused the delay of the camp moving forward to the promised land.
God spoke to her directly. He punished her directly, but He didn’t stop there. He cured her too! God made a way for Miriam to be forgiven and cleansed of her sin and Jesus does the same for us today! 2 Pet 3:9 God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. John 3:16-17
In Deuteronomy 24:9 Miriam’s head strong sin was used as an example and a warning to God’s people. She allowed her gift to become her nemesis. Head strong people are notorious for making things happen when others have given up, but they can also step over the line like Miriam did. Miriam would want to be remembered for the servant heart she displayed in Egypt, for leading women, and for demonstrating the positive influence a head strong woman can have with her family and community. If you are, or tend to be head strong, ask the Lord to use this according to His plan. Lay ALL of who you are at Jesus’ feet and ask Him to guide you to a righteous and humble head strong service to Him. Step aside for the greater good and let God our Father be Head strong.
When my husband and I “fell in love” again, we did all the normal giddy expressions of love. Leaving notes for no reason, calling in the middle of the day just to say hello, making sure I looked just so, created pet names, using my best manners all the time, cuddling more than two humans are allowed, and we showered each other with constant “I love you because”… statements. I remember several single roses for no particular reason. I can remember hearing his car pull up in the driveway and dropped what I was doing to be at the front door, but not until I raced to the bathroom to make sure I looked presentable. I can remember my husband waiting at the door for me as well, just to let me know he missed me. The lengths we would go to, to brighten the others’ day are some of my favorite memories to recall.
That was twenty-nine years ago. Our love has climbed to new heights many times since then. We’ve learned, as many of you have, to share each other with children, work, church, and family. This has changed the way we communicate our love to each other. The intensity is no less, but the frequency is. We both know our love is stronger and for better reasons than when we first “fell in love”.
I say all this to ask ourselves, does God perceive the relationship we offer Him in the same joyous way? When I first “fell in love” with the Lord it was giddy for me. The emotions that surged through me then still cause me to produce the same “goose pimply” reaction if I give myself the time to recall the moment. I not only embraced the moment, but also glee of my new relationship for months after. The zeal of telling every one who would listen about this new relationship I found was exhilarating. I wanted to shout out His name over and over in hopes someone would ask me about Him. You would have thought I had gotten married. Ouch. I did!! Unfortunately, I also allowed life to diminish my zeal to share all the new exciting experiences God brought to my life. I allowed church, family, my job, and other activities to take my focus off my devotion to discovering every aspect of His nature and character. God did not change His vows to me, He did not lessen his zeal for me, He remains faithful always, and His heart must have hurt beyond human pain when He felt the distance coming between us. I wasn’t calling in the middle of the day to chat. I did not always take care of the vessel He blessed me with. I forgot to use my best manners when He didn’t answer my prayers my way. For a short time, cuddling up with His Word became more of a chore than a chance to learn of the One and Only awesome God who loves me unconditionally. My words of adoration to our Lord became more of a routine and a duty.
If you feel a distance that was not there before, know that God didn’t move. He waits for you!!! We need to have the mindset to rekindle our relationship with God on a DAILY basis. In Hebrews 7:25 The writer says, “Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.“
Our relationships with our spouses are very important. I believe this with all my heart. However, my relationship to God is the utmost and highest relationship anyone can have. All other relationships are doomed to fail if my relationship with my Lord and Savior is not aligned with His Word. God offers me all of the blessings of His covenant as I praise Him, worship Him, and devote my life to living in His presence.
We must remain daily in the attitude of heart, the zeal, and the bubbly affection, we shared with our Lord when we “fell in love” with Him. We need to go back to the beginning every day and engage our Lord with the same fervor of our hearts when we first met Him. The same drive that caused us to learn everything there is to know about our earthly loves, should be applied and continue without ceasing to our First Love, Jesus the Christ. We honor our vows to Him by studying His Word, which reveals His nature, character, mercy, grace, and continued faithfulness. If you want to reconnect to Jesus, talk to Him, read His love letters to you, and let the “giddiness” of His love wash over you. Do you need to Fall In Love Again?
Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart”.
Have you experienced a public warning of your town’s water being unsuitable to consume? It is usually accompanied with advice to use bottled water, boil all water from your tap, or filter your water before consuming until the problem can be resolved. This can be a little unnerving knowing your water source is not safe. What will the impact of impure water have on your physical body?
Good News!!! In the book of Psalms, first chapter, the writer knows without proper nutrition for our souls, we will wither and die. In verse 3 he states, “And he will be like a tree transplanted beside streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and whose foliage does not wither; and everything he does prospers. What an awesome analogy the author used to express what we can be like and where our nutrition comes from.
The characteristics of trees penetrate downward with their roots entwining with the earth and then drinks from the stream of waters God provides. Instinctively, trees spread their branches out, and up, to match the deepness of their roots. Trees were designed to grow upwards to God. Trees grow in direct proportion to the amount of nutrition they absorb according to their kind. Trees hold within themselves the seed that is brought forth at the right time and season, but not before. Trees produce fruit according to their kind, which provides nutrition to other God breathed beings. Trees also provide much needed oxygen for all forms of life. Trees that have matured, provide protection and shade to immature trees, giving them room and opportunity to grow. Trees only seek one type of nutrition, which comes from the One Who brought them forth with His voice and provided living water He knew they would need to have life.
The writer also states the opposite is true in verse 6. Without the proper nutrition, we will perish. Neglecting to cleanse, refresh, and take nourishment from the streams of water God provides through His perfect and Holy Word deprives and starts the decaying process when we fail to root our lives in God’s Word on a daily basis.
There is no need or requirement to boil or filter out toxicities from God’s pure streams of water and no need to seek a bottle of imperfect water. Streams of water are living entities. They cleanse, refresh, and sustain the one who drinks from them. Streams of water are like having your own personal irrigation system that knows when your spirit is lacking, your soul is heavy, or a yearning to draw closer to God cannot be ignored. A transformation begins when you root yourself in the streams of water, infiltrating the heart, soul, and mind. Life abundant and eternal comes from God’s Living Word. There is only One to seek for pure undefiled water. Only when we drink deeply from His Word can we reach to the heavens, produce visible fruit and foliage, and provide nutrients and shade to seekers around us. You are cordially invited to drink deeply, share generously, and allow the transformation God invites you to.
John 7: 37-38 “On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”
During one Sunday morning worship service, a very young sweet boy hit his head on the pew and immediately yearned for his dad who was sitting a pew away. His dad instinctively knew his son needed him and headed his way. Before his dad could get there, this little man told his dad to “kiss it, kiss it”. This young man knew what he needed from his father.
We could all use more kisses to comfort our “bumps on the head”. My thoughts take me to a message in God’s Word where one particular women knew what she needed to be healed and whole. The message is recorded in Matthew 9:20-22, Mark 5: 25-34 and Luke 8: 41-49.
This woman is not named, but we know her as the woman with the blood issue. The original language uses the word “hemorrhaging”. So this was not the typical bleeding experience with menstrual periods. This plague has been robbing her of life for 12 years. She’s spent all of her resources on physicians who did nothing for her and actually made her condition worse.
She heard about Jesus and she mustered up the strength to walk to His presence. When she saw Him, scripture says she said to herself, if I could just touch the hem of His garment, I will be healed. She didn’t say I might be healed.
Please picture this woman touching the HEM of Jesus’ garment. Where is the hem? At the bottom!! Scripture records that she came up from behind Jesus and then touched the hem of His garment. What position did she have to be in to reach the hem of a garment? I see her bent over, in all submission, reaching through the bodies of the crowd to make contact with the right garment and the right hem. I can also see her possibly crawling on her hands and knees. She catches the hem of Jesus’ garment and IMMEDIATELY she IS HEALED. Her life is no longer draining from her body.
In so many examples of Jesus addressing women in scripture has chosen their name or simply “woman”, but in this moment, Jesus called her DAUGHTER!!! Jesus addressed her as The Father. This display of compassion from Jesus to this woman told everyone around them this woman is precious in His sight, she is worthy, she is significant, and she is His.
She sought only what Jesus could provide, she kept her focus on Jesus, and allowed Him to heal her. Scripture records that power came out of Jesus and into the woman causing the healing. Jesus kissed her hurt, her pain, and her heart. Jesus also told her, her faith healed her and to go in peace.
I aspire to be as confident as the little man on Sunday morning who instantly knew what he needed from his father to make everything better. He focused on the source of comfort and healing. He needed his fathers kiss. I too, need to ask for my Father’s kiss. I need to call out to Him, kiss it Abba kiss it. I need to hear Him call me Daughter and to absorb the peace that comes from staying focused on Jesus. I know, just like the little man, my Father will fulfill my need for comfort and peace. Many have never felt the comfort of a healing kiss from their parents. Our Father is heaven is waiting for an opportunity to heal our hurts, heal our sorrow, and send us on our way in peace. Ask Him.
A friend of mine in Connecticut calls the period of time when our loved ones are experiencing their years beyond their years, the Winter Season. This definition has intrigued me ever since. It wasn’t long after, my mother displayed characteristics of Alzheimer’s and I began to see her Winter Season.
My mom’s former self has left her. She is bound up and locked inside of a cage where breaking free doesn’t happen often. There are moments and minutes that are evident she has escaped the monster for a short time only to be handcuffed and escorted back to her prison cell.
The pages of her life are being re-written by the imposter who has replaced her. Her memories are distorted at best. She wrestles every morning with the demon confusion. It torments her and causes her to be ashamed and feeling less than intelligent. Everything she recalls, even as recent as yesterday, has truth and fiction combined. Both are her reality. Both are her truth.
Her childlike thought process, behaviors, and reactions are sometimes humorous. Remembering and separating the behavior from the person is exhausting. Certain behaviors are parallel in relation to teenage traits. She can be rebellious, lacking in hygiene, pouts, snide comments, junk food cravings, but in the “moments”, she can be sweet and sensitive. She has her comical moments where you can’t help but laugh. Not because it was particularly funny, but what she found humorous is now out of character.
Mom remembers little of the day to day activities. She has no sense of time, days, and now years. Most every day is a new day. She will never re-learn the living skills she once engaged by reflex. She wants so badly to return to her former self and gets angry with herself for not being able to escape the monster that claims her memories, claims her train of thought, and claims her joy. She thinks if she was just intelligent enough, she could beat this.
I get asked often if I think Alzheimer’s is harder on the caretakers or the precious loved one who is living with it. My answer is always, the one who suffers, anguishes, and lives with the monster who is stealing their life away.
In Spirit And In Truth 